Selamat Tinggal selamanya :-(

Dear readers,
Ingat tak masa Malaysia vs Singapore? I received a phone call from my cousin. It 's the phone call that ive been waiting for( cos I thought she wanna tell us about her mom or share stories about our cousins or her siblings or blabla...) yet when it comes, it was a shoking news!
Tok wanku telah pergi buat selamanya pada 21 Julai 2011. Tapi kami rasa lega sbb tok wan pergi pada malam Jumaat, selepas isya':-). Tapi yang paling sedih, kami baru pikir2 nak ziarah lepas raya nanti
( since aku mmg raya kat Yong Peng on first raya . jadi kalau nak balik ziarah pon kena lepas hari raya lah)My grandma was my favorite family member( OF COURSE!) and I don't know what I'd do without her. I miss her so much right now. Im not her favourite grand daughters neither my siblings but we are the one who will always there for her.We always visited, spoke to her and also tolerate with her..ermm..biasa la orang tua kan.Macam2 hal :-)

Kami bertolak dari rumah jam 315 pagi,sampai dalam jam 1115pagi. giller lah sangap, terima kasih kepada suamiku yang sanggup memandu pada hari tersebut.On the ride to Besut, my husband and I do not speak much. All the memories floaded my mind. Teringat itu ini.
Sampai je sana, suamiku bacakan surah yassin ( aku plak period, maka adengan air mata pon terjadi..) Tapi alhamdulillah sbb aku dapat 'join' makcik2 semua untuk mandikan tok wan. Sayu hatiku bila melihat jenazah dimandikan. Tell you, air mataku tak berhenti2 mengalir pada waktu ini. Before ni I ada baca pasal orang hilang parents, hilang anak or husband. I dunno how you face it but I tell you, I salute lah! Tapi, we believe in Allah, dah tertulis setiap yang bernyawa akan menempuhi mati, kan? This is my first experience mandikan jenazah. Orang yang mandikan jenazah tu bagitau awal2 'HOW" dan segala step2 nya, so takla awkward sgt even if you are a first timer.Everything buat macam kita mandi, bersihkan segalanya, tapi masa mandikan jenazah ni, bukan la biarkan jenazah tu totally naked, tapi kena la tutup / letak kain ...ala2 mcm kita berkemban tu.

Oh betapa indahnya Islam itu kan, sampai pengurusan jenazah pon kita still respect each other *smile*.Ummi helped to wash Tok Wan's hair dan I curahkan air bagi bilas bersih.
Orang yang mandikan mmg hati2 mandikan jenazah, cukup berhalus dan lemah lembut. Hatiku sangat sayu setiap kali air dicurahkan, melihat mereka dengan gigih sekali ( including my sister in law- Kak Fuz) tried her best to clean Tok Wan's nails and skin.Last step bila dah pastikan badan semua bersih ( mmg kena rasa kulit tu betul2 takda daki), private part dah bersih, maka simbahan terakhir adalah air kapur barus( if am not mistaken :-)

After dikafankan, I sat alone. Away from others.Thinking about all the memories. My husband dah takda, went to solat jumaat. Im so impressed with my husband, dahla penat berjaga di malam hari, dia ke hulu ke hilir tolong itu ini, pastu ke masjid nak solatkan jenazah..hinggalah waktu kebumikan pon dia masih setia di sana.Thank you so much baby! Aku tak pergi pon ke kubur sbb I just cant face all the...ermm you knowlah.Dada dah cukup sebak, tak mampu lagi nak menangis kat situ.

BTW, we visited Tok Wan 2 months before she died( if some of you noticed my status at FB/ twitter about my Tok wan ).Ummi was there to take of her masa tu.Tapi Tok Wan ada bagitau kat Ummi, dia dah OK, we dont have to worry about her..etc etc. Itu adalah saat terindah sbb we sat together and had our "tepung bungkus, tepung pelita and keropok lekor" together. We bought her a very nice sunnies too :-).At least we got to do something fun together before she died. I love you Tok Wan. The pain of loss is a difficult one to overcome , but you will leave forever in memories and pictures

al-fatihah.

Love,
Fadd