Dear beloved readers,
It's been 8 days since Aman/Apeng and I embarked on our greatest journey-the birth of our bundle of joy; Kazim Bin Kamarul Zaman.
Everything happened so fast that I can barely remember the details.
I was one of those first time mothers-to-be who had read multiple books on pregnancy and child birth, and had come to the conclusion - to keep telling myself that it was a bearable pain, that it was for a worthy purpose. And, as I kept reminding myself( like being told by my lovely sister Kak Fuz), millions of women had given birth in the past and continue to give birth “the natural way” – they handled the pain well enough. Of course I would too!
"Yes I can do it!"
I was wide awake on the night before and can only shut my eyes at slightly past 2am.Yes, I had a sleepless night that night(chat ngn a few ppl jugak sbb taklih tdo). Surprisingly Apeng/Aman was fast asleep at 10pm although for the past one week he's been sleeping very late unlike me. Yes, your truly has been sleeping like a princess during her pregnancy.
It was 5.45am, subconsciously I heard a "POP" sound.While I try to figure out where the sound comes from, I felt like peeing but the only different was, I cant control it.I was so astounded by the rushing of fluid.
"B..I rasa my water bag broke"
"hah? ye ker? You bukan kencing ke?"
"takk..tak..I rasa water broke.."
Dgn cepatnya Aman/Apeng terus bangun dan siap2. Kami pun siap2, nasibla bag hospital mmg dah siap lama pun, tapi bukan ada bnyk brg pon nak amik lgpun rumah kami kan dekat je.Suamiku terus ketuk pintu Ummi pastu Ummi terus datang tgk aku.Bila tgk, mmg sah-sah dia kata air ketuban yang pecah. Mcm sgt laju okayy dia mengalir...camm sungai pulak :p.Pastu sbb air dah mengalir bnyk sgt, Ummi pon sediakan kain batik tuk lapik.Seryes, mmg air tu mengalir camm ..rasa panas2 camtu.Tapi tak sakit la, it just air tu camm ada lendir2 sikit kot.Bukan la mcm air masak ke hape tu.Kami terus turun lif,Aman/Apeng terus amik kereta.Immediately I called Abang Ha& Kak Fuz.
We stopped at the Emergency Counter.The nurse wheeled me in a wheelchair to the maternity floor where midwives happened to be.She checked me and said I was only 2cm dilated… and that I had 3-4 more hours.Fuhh, dlm hati,
"
3-4 jam lagi ke???mak aii..lamanya nak tunggu..tp that time tak rasa lagi sakit yg amat tu"I just went into one of the delivery rooms, put on a gown and tried to get comfortable while my husband and Ummi were there to comfort me.
They hooked me up to the machine to monitor of the baby's heart beat and my contraction.
here..a view in my labor suite.
My husband decided to text our families and rang our emak.Later, Abg ha and K.Fuz came at 9am ++.I decided to call Diella,Leen and Hanim.Unfortunately none of them were available.So I told my husband to text them later.Mummy Noe sms-ed me:
"Zikir..doa bnyk2..Igt Allah.."
The contractions were ten minutes apart and still very bearable.
"Yes, I am in pain, but that's okay. I'm coping with it."
A back rub or a positive words of encouragement will help you calm down. Apeng/Aman comforted me and kept my mind off.I couldn't have made it without him by my side.The two things that kept me going were my doctor, who was so utterly kind and gentle with me, and my husband, who stood there holding my hand and comforting me like a real troop.
Moments later, my husband gently helped me to rub my back, do what ever he can just to make sure I was okay, surprisingly, the pain was minimal.He did everything he could with such love and uttered no complaint.
I watched TV, read book and everything that I could to keep my mind off.I've told my husband that I was so hungry (
sbb smalam mkn mihun yg sikit saja pastu pagi tu tak sarapan pon) So my husband asked the midwives whether I can have a chocolate bar just to get some energy. She came to me and said,
"You can drink water only"
Dlm hati, mak aii aku rasa nk pitam dah kt sini dia suh minum air ??Ok ok..paham diorang buat ape yang patut tapi..seryes mmg lembik sgt masa tu..Aman/Apeng tanya kalau Milo boleh ke tak, tp dia kata tu pun tak boleh sbb takut kalau jd aper2, dan perlu c-sect perut kena kosong at least 6 hrs. " B, kalau tau mcm ni, td before dtg sini I breakfast dulu"
The contractions started to build up a bit by 11pm.The intervals between them got shorter. I tried standing up and wiggling and moving my hips, I couldn't walk about because I was hooked up to the damn machine which was monitoring my baby and I was still leaking.
Time
ni dah 9cm dilated, Ya Allah,rasa jalan kt satu highway yg takda toilet pastu nk poo-poo sgt campur sembelit pastu kena tahan dulu .Yerlakan kalau 9cm mcm mana nk teran pon so, nak menahan tu..adoiiii..tak tergambar "pleasure"
nyerr.
Tp dlm kepala otak ni taknak any drugs pon so nak taknak kena tahan la.Pusing kanan kiri menahan sakit, lakiku pulak mmg tak habis2 duk picit-picit,berjam dia berdiri kt situ.Kesian sgt2.Pastu ade rasa nk kencing sgt2, teruslah bgtau misi tu,
"I want to wee-wee"
"i"ll bring container for you"
"I prefer..hmm...I wanna go to the toilet"
"tak boleh..nnti u beranak kat toilet..I bawak bekas lah, u kencing sini."
Ayyo..mmg ussah sgt2.Mula2 skali boleh pastu kali kedua nak kencing tu..dah tak boleh dah, so misi tu masuk tiub tuk kencing.Ngilu jugak la rasa.My Apeng/Aman was really positive and was really good, he was talking to me and keep asking me to take a deep breath with each contraction. I was so touched.
By the time I finally reached the crucial stage – full five fingers dilated, pretty ready to start pushing – it was almost 12pm++
I started pushing with guidance from the midwife. Very slow progress was made as I was so tired from lack of sleep and not eating properly and was emotionally a wreck and I ached.
The “bench” suddenly became shorter as the part under my backside was made to fold under, my legs were suspended up in the air with stirrups, tied to two poles that suddenly appeared from nowhere.
The doctor was ready.
"Push!!"
I tried so hard.All of them(doctor and midwives cheered me on as I began to grasp what PUSHING was all about.
The baby still wasn't coming out.
Masa ni, yours truly dah rasa nak pitam sbb campur lapar campur rasa nk pitam.Mcm lari merentas desa tanpa makan dan minum pagi tu.Dah rasa ada burung2 pon yang terbang kat atas dahi ni.Then again..I worked incredibly hard for almost 1 hour!!
Nasib baik doctor pon tolong jugak kuarkan Kazim.Suddenly, a “whoosh” – and then, oh what relief, when Kazim's head came out, he was awake and crying loudly.they laid him on my belly,Kazim lay there and looking up at me.
"Im sorry Kazim, Im so tired.."I whispered to him.
And then, just I seemed to be drifting off into a surreal sleep, the afterbirth pains began.After being stitched up, I really wasn’t feeling like I was there at all. Everything seemed a blur and all I needed was a cup of Milo and some rice..or pasta..or
nasi kerabu..or what so ever food!
I was so tired by this time, that I was actually struggling to keep my eyes open, I even asked my husband in the room not to talk to me because I wanted to sleep.
It's an unbelievable experience to see your child emerge from the womb after carrying them for nine months; literally un-believable.I've known he was in there; seen him on ultrasound and felt him kick. As my child has emerged; crying, skin wrinkled and wet and with eyes blinking in the bright lights; I've felt totally and completely overawed.
I wanted natural childbirth, and that's what I've been lucky enough to have-alhamdulillah, due to the fortunate combination of hassle-free labours and a supportive environment. It wasn't until I started to read about natural childbirth that I found out about the many advantages of letting your body do what it is designed to do.
But out he came eventually...a beautiful 3.20 kg baby boy, Alhamdulillah.My Apeng/Aman recited Azan andQamat into his ears.
Kazim- a few minutes after he was bornI stayed at the hospital for 1 night, as usual my husband was there.
Tp nak tdo mmg lerr tak boleh.Yerla my V sakit sgt2.Semua2 lah sakit.
Myself after 6 hours of the "battle"
Masa ni my V sakit giller...sampai nk wee-wee pun takut sgt.Apetah lagi nak poo-poo.So nurses ni akan dtg check dah wee-wee ke belum.Adooiii...tak sangka yerr.."sedap"jugak bersalin ni!Patutttt lerrrr ramai yg beranak kannn :p
It is offcial, we are now the proud parents of Kazim.
Amik gambar kena gedik2 sikit..muka tahan sakit la katakan.Nonetheless, Im so thankful to Almighty-Allah for this easy delivery of a healthy baby Kazim.Syukur. Alhamdulllah.And also,thanks for all your
(yes..you guys out there-friends, bloggers, families) prayers and well wishes.
Again and again, million thanks to my baby Apeng/Aman for being there for me and making the whole things easy for me.I love you very much forever and ever.
I have to admit, Im a bit tearful while writing this entry. My wish and hope, Kazim inherits my husband's best quality,Insya-Allah.
Amin.
Truly, I am blessed among women!
p.s:More stories on Kazim..later!Love.
We endured our approximately 40 mins bumpy speedboat to arrive at Long Beach on Perhentian Kecil Island.We settled at one of the chalet with attached bath for RM100 and dump our bags before going to explore the rest of the area.Ohh, mmg kdg2 mommy menyesal sgt naik boat tu, mcm nak tercabut perutku ini.Tp nak buat mcm mana, benda dah jadi kan. Alhamdulillah semua selamat.And to you Kazim, thanks for staying with me!
the beach..sgt lah shantekkk...Apart from sunbathing( which Mommy tak suka langsung sbb nnti pedih satu badan tp Kazim boleh ikut Papa sbb Papa ok lalala je kalau berjemur!) the most popular activities on the islands are snorkeling and diving.
heading along the beach for a cocktail before dinner time.
Mommy & Papa suka bersuka ria sambil beramah mesra kat pantai ..
Next, we spent 2 nights at Coral Beach, Perhentian Besar.It is much smaller and compact than long beach.Kat situ ada kedai makan yg murah, Mama Chalet, almost everynight kita mkn situ kan. Everthing on the island has to shipped including the supplies of food which arrive from the mainland on a daily basis, so no wonderlah rega pon mahal sikit kan.Remember the time that Papa refused to stay at the first chalet that we already paid because of the momok?Thus, Papa willing to pay extra and upgrade the room.With no TV, mommy and papa mmg berchenta habis la..borak2, makan2, main game..
with 5 months++ pregnant belly
I know that I might not have been the best mom so far or yet , but I’m getting there and noticing such an improvement with myself. As you nap away right now, I hope that you are having sweet dreams and I’ll be right there when you wake up.
