Wednesday, November 4, 2009

My D-Day;Kazim Bin Kamarul Zaman

Dear beloved readers,
It's been 8 days since Aman/Apeng and I embarked on our greatest journey-the birth of our bundle of joy; Kazim Bin Kamarul Zaman.
Everything happened so fast that I can barely remember the details.
I was one of those first time mothers-to-be who had read multiple books on pregnancy and child birth, and had come to the conclusion - to keep telling myself that it was a bearable pain, that it was for a worthy purpose. And, as I kept reminding myself( like being told by my lovely sister Kak Fuz), millions of women had given birth in the past and continue to give birth “the natural way” – they handled the pain well enough. Of course I would too!
"Yes I can do it!"

I was wide awake on the night before and can only shut my eyes at slightly past 2am.Yes, I had a sleepless night that night(chat ngn a few ppl jugak sbb taklih tdo). Surprisingly Apeng/Aman was fast asleep at 10pm although for the past one week he's been sleeping very late unlike me. Yes, your truly has been sleeping like a princess during her pregnancy.

It was 5.45am, subconsciously I heard a "POP" sound.While I try to figure out where the sound comes from, I felt like peeing but the only different was, I cant control it.I was so astounded by the rushing of fluid.
"B..I rasa my water bag broke"
"hah? ye ker? You bukan kencing ke?"
"takk..tak..I rasa water broke.."

Dgn cepatnya Aman/Apeng terus bangun dan siap2. Kami pun siap2, nasibla bag hospital mmg dah siap lama pun, tapi bukan ada bnyk brg pon nak amik lgpun rumah kami kan dekat je.Suamiku terus ketuk pintu Ummi pastu Ummi terus datang tgk aku.Bila tgk, mmg sah-sah dia kata air ketuban yang pecah. Mcm sgt laju okayy dia mengalir...camm sungai pulak :p.Pastu sbb air dah mengalir bnyk sgt, Ummi pon sediakan kain batik tuk lapik.Seryes, mmg air tu mengalir camm ..rasa panas2 camtu.Tapi tak sakit la, it just air tu camm ada lendir2 sikit kot.Bukan la mcm air masak ke hape tu.Kami terus turun lif,Aman/Apeng terus amik kereta.
Immediately I called Abang Ha& Kak Fuz.

We stopped at the Emergency Counter.The nurse wheeled me in a wheelchair to the maternity floor where midwives happened to be.She checked me and said I was only 2cm dilated… and that I had 3-4 more hours.Fuhh, dlm hati,
"3-4 jam lagi ke???mak aii..lamanya nak tunggu..tp that time tak rasa lagi sakit yg amat tu"
I just went into one of the delivery rooms, put on a gown and tried to get comfortable while my husband and Ummi were there to comfort me.
They hooked me up to the machine to monitor of the baby's heart beat and my contraction.
here..a view in my labor suite.

My husband decided to text our families and rang our emak.Later, Abg ha and K.Fuz came at 9am ++.I decided to call Diella,Leen and Hanim.Unfortunately none of them were available.So I told my husband to text them later.Mummy Noe sms-ed me:
"Zikir..doa bnyk2..Igt Allah.."


The contractions were ten minutes apart and still very bearable.
"Yes, I am in pain, but that's okay. I'm coping with it."
A back rub or a positive words of encouragement will help you calm down. Apeng/Aman comforted me and kept my mind off.I couldn't have made it without him by my side.The two things that kept me going were my doctor, who was so utterly kind and gentle with me, and my husband, who stood there holding my hand and comforting me like a real troop.
Moments later, my husband gently helped me to rub my back, do what ever he can just to make sure I was okay, surprisingly, the pain was minimal.He did everything he could with such love and uttered no complaint.

I watched TV, read book and everything that I could to keep my mind off.I've told my husband that I was so hungry ( sbb smalam mkn mihun yg sikit saja pastu pagi tu tak sarapan pon) So my husband asked the midwives whether I can have a chocolate bar just to get some energy. She came to me and said,
"You can drink water only"

Dlm hati, mak aii aku rasa nk pitam dah kt sini dia suh minum air ??Ok ok..paham diorang buat ape yang patut tapi..seryes mmg lembik sgt masa tu..Aman/Apeng tanya kalau Milo boleh ke tak, tp dia kata tu pun tak boleh sbb takut kalau jd aper2, dan perlu c-sect perut kena kosong at least 6 hrs.
" B, kalau tau mcm ni, td before dtg sini I breakfast dulu"

The contractions started to build up a bit by 11pm.The intervals between them got shorter. I tried standing up and wiggling and moving my hips, I couldn't walk about because I was hooked up to the damn machine which was monitoring my baby and I was still leaking.
Time ni dah 9cm dilated, Ya Allah,rasa jalan kt satu highway yg takda toilet pastu nk poo-poo sgt campur sembelit pastu kena tahan dulu .Yerlakan kalau 9cm mcm mana nk teran pon so, nak menahan tu..adoiiii..tak tergambar "pleasure" nyerr.Tp dlm kepala otak ni taknak any drugs pon so nak taknak kena tahan la.Pusing kanan kiri menahan sakit, lakiku pulak mmg tak habis2 duk picit-picit,berjam dia berdiri kt situ.Kesian sgt2.
Pastu ade rasa nk kencing sgt2, teruslah bgtau misi tu,
"I want to wee-wee"
"i"ll bring container for you"
"I prefer..hmm...I wanna go to the toilet"
"tak boleh..nnti u beranak kat toilet..I bawak bekas lah, u kencing sini."
Ayyo..mmg ussah sgt2.Mula2 skali boleh pastu kali kedua nak kencing tu..dah tak boleh dah, so misi tu masuk tiub tuk kencing.Ngilu jugak la rasa.

My Apeng/Aman was really positive and was really good, he was talking to me and keep asking me to take a deep breath with each contraction. I was so touched.
By the time I finally reached the crucial stage – full five fingers dilated, pretty ready to start pushing – it was almost 12pm++
I started pushing with guidance from the midwife. Very slow progress was made as I was so tired from lack of sleep and not eating properly and was emotionally a wreck and I ached.
The “bench” suddenly became shorter as the part under my backside was made to fold under, my legs were suspended up in the air with stirrups, tied to two poles that suddenly appeared from nowhere.
The doctor was ready.
"Push!!"
I tried so hard.All of them(doctor and midwives cheered me on as I began to grasp what PUSHING was all about.
The baby still wasn't coming out.
Masa ni, yours truly dah rasa nak pitam sbb campur lapar campur rasa nk pitam.Mcm lari merentas desa tanpa makan dan minum pagi tu.Dah rasa ada burung2 pon yang terbang kat atas dahi ni.

Then again..I worked incredibly hard for almost 1 hour!!Nasib baik doctor pon tolong jugak kuarkan Kazim.

Suddenly, a “whoosh” – and then, oh what relief, when Kazim's head came out, he was awake and crying loudly.they laid him on my belly,Kazim lay there and looking up at me.
"Im sorry Kazim, Im so tired.."I whispered to him.

And then, just I seemed to be drifting off into a surreal sleep, the afterbirth pains began.After being stitched up, I really wasn’t feeling like I was there at all. Everything seemed a blur and all I needed was a cup of Milo and some rice..or pasta..or nasi kerabu..or what so ever food!
I was so tired by this time, that I was actually struggling to keep my eyes open, I even asked my husband in the room not to talk to me because I wanted to sleep.

It's an unbelievable experience to see your child emerge from the womb after carrying them for nine months; literally un-believable.I've known he was in there; seen him on ultrasound and felt him kick. As my child has emerged; crying, skin wrinkled and wet and with eyes blinking in the bright lights; I've felt totally and completely overawed.

I wanted natural childbirth, and that's what I've been lucky enough to have-alhamdulillah, due to the fortunate combination of hassle-free labours and a supportive environment. It wasn't until I started to read about natural childbirth that I found out about the many advantages of letting your body do what it is designed to do.

But out he came eventually...a beautiful 3.20 kg baby boy, Alhamdulillah.My Apeng/Aman recited Azan andQamat into his ears.
Kazim- a few minutes after he was born

I stayed at the hospital for 1 night, as usual my husband was there. Tp nak tdo mmg lerr tak boleh.Yerla my V sakit sgt2.Semua2 lah sakit.
Myself after 6 hours of the "battle"
Masa ni my V sakit giller...sampai nk wee-wee pun takut sgt.Apetah lagi nak poo-poo.So nurses ni akan dtg check dah wee-wee ke belum.Adooiii...tak sangka yerr.."sedap"jugak bersalin ni!Patutttt lerrrr ramai yg beranak kannn :p
It is offcial, we are now the proud parents of Kazim.Amik gambar kena gedik2 sikit..muka tahan sakit la katakan.
Nonetheless, Im so thankful to Almighty-Allah for this easy delivery of a healthy baby Kazim.Syukur. Alhamdulllah.And also,thanks for all your(yes..you guys out there-friends, bloggers, families) prayers and well wishes.

Finally home sweet home,myself after getting discharged

Again and again, million thanks to my baby Apeng/Aman for being there for me and making the whole things easy for me.I love you very much forever and ever.
I have to admit, Im a bit tearful while writing this entry. My wish and hope, Kazim inherits my husband's best quality,Insya-Allah.
Amin.

Truly, I am blessed among women!
p.s:More stories on Kazim..later!

Love.

22 comments:

LEENEEL said...

Dearrrr..no wonder you cakap you tak dapat call I.. Malam-malam I normally switch to DiGi, bangun pagi baru switch back to Maxis. :( :(

Mrs.R @ Emi said...

waaa..bila mcm my V pon rasa ngilu balik..hihihi
comell la Kazim...kish2 4 him :)

The Mrs-Bride said...

alhamdulillah... yayy! i went thru natural birth too. x sangka kan we made it thru w/o any pain killers n all? yeah, we're one of the lucky ones. i'm glad everything went well for u too. alhamdulillah again... :)

eiii.. x sabar nak visit u plak! insya Allah one of these days ok? take care momma.. hugs hugs! :)

Linda said...

Oh my.. what a story...

My eyes became teary reading my this post coz I've been there and maybe becoz now I am 8mths pregnant. Jadi terbawa2 rasa terharu tu..

Congrats Fadd and Apeng. I bet both of u will become a great parent. All the best ya!

sueliah said...

tula kn..sakit bsalin camne pn kta x kan serik nak mnambah lg..percayala hehehe...

kaezrin said...

u look so good after giving birth even in pain ..seriously..

congrates dearie...

nama kazim macam lebih2 kurang nama anak i...Khazin..:P

n33za said...

dear..i nk sgt sgt visit u..tp both of my boys tgh selsema..mcm tak elok plak nk visit newborn kan..anyway..u bg i inspiration utk natural birth!sile bg saya semangat yer..hehe

My Life My World said...

Tahniah to you and Apeng ... suker sangat post ni. Very detail. Macam yang akak lalui juga. Teringat :)Tapi awak tetap vogue walaupun lepas 6 jam bersalin. Kalau dah cantik kan dalam keadaan apa pun awak tetap cantik. Lepas ni anak pompuan lak yer. Mesti comel macam ibu nyer.

rizqaisya said...

beautifully written... bunch of congratz again to you....

NHCH said...

Fad, so u langsung x ambil laughing gas, any injection or epidural lah ya? I still cannot decide on my birth plan :( BTW, glad both u & baby selamat & sihat...

Lea Shmea said...

alhamdulillah & many congratulations guys! baby kazim is perfect. take care & selamat berpantang, kak fadd!

Anonymous said...

hi..

terharu sgt baca this entyr.rase i pulak kat tpt u.whatever it is congrats & u're so lucky to have a wonderful husband.;)

-tina-

cdalan said...

congratess! hapi for you both!

hanee said...

Harap2 akan lalui sama seperti u nanti. InsyaAllah. U r so strong fadd..

iNchE iSTeRi said...

natural birth best kan?we remember evry detail of the moment.bile dipikirkan balik,sakit tu ok jek.another 2 years leh tambah lagi.hehe..hugs & kisses for kazim ;)

CikChelsea said...

suka gile gambaq kazim yg after dia nanges tu...muka mcm pelik gile "aku kat mana nih?" hihih

insyaAllah weekend nih akan gomol kazim ngeh3

~ n.u.r ~ mommy wannabe said...

congrats to both of you....mommy n baby pun cute..:-) take care...

Drama Mama said...

u r one strong lady dear. deangar cita u dah ngeri nak beranak sekali lagi hahaha

neway, take care. hugs and kisses to little kazim ya

jetsetter said...

Leen,
Tahu takper.Lain kali pakai 10 lagi line tau :p
Mrs R,
Tula kan..bab ngilu tu yg tak tahan p
Anita,
Kan..we r sooooo lucky.U inspired me dear!U can dtg anytime!
Linda,
I yg menulis ni pun sama yanggg..:-)
rasa sayu jerr
Sueliah,
U r sooo right! Skang I dah terpk bila nk pregnant balik! hahaha
Kaezrin,
oh really?Boleh la get together one day!Nama u pun K jugak eh?
Neeza,
I paham..takper2 bila u all dah sihat dtg je anytime.U r always welcome!
My life my world,
Thank you so much sis!
Riz,
thanks!
NHCH,
hey darling.Takda babe...sbb aku mmg dah set dlm otak :-)
Lea,
Thanks dear!
Cdalan,
thanks sis!
Hane,
U bolehhh punya...trust urself tau! I doakan you :-)
Inche,
dear, jgn lupa lepas pantang..I nak tgk ammar tau!
Cik Na,
"Cik Na,
I cant wait to see you!"
-Kazim * wink*
Nur,
Nice knowing you!
Drama Mama,
U ape kurangya sis..kuat jugak..hihihi

zahra said...

i am ur silent reader. Congrats to both of u...!!

Best bace, trasa macam nak nangis..!!

Ninie said...

congrats fadd & apeng...terharu baca ur experience..selamat berpantang yer..take care

Pink Stilettos said...

i'm so proud of u! congrats fadd & aman! :)